Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Got 9/11?

That should be Rudy Giuliani's campaign slogan. Period. Why dick around with crusty, cliched, shopworn slogans when there's a fresh, brand-new one that fits the candidate like a glove?

And here's the commercial, too:

(plane into North Tower. Giuliani in street, hustling about lower Manhattan in WT collapse aftermath.)
Voice-Over: "He was there on 9/11. Up close, too close. He wore 9/11 dust that day. Got it into his lungs, breathed it, coughed it up--just like the firemen and first-responders. And he was there after 9/11. He has lived 9/11 ever since. When you see images of 9/11, you think of him; when you read about about 9/11, you think of him, when you even THINK of 9/11, you think of him. Rudy Giuliani. He IS 9/11."

(Rudy on-camera, respirator over mouth, slightly garbled:)
"I'm Rudy Giuliani, and I--(coughs)--approved this message."

Outrageous? Not hardly. Giuliani did, after all, say this past summer that he inhaled all that awful World Trade Center stuff and now ran the same risk as those actual rescuers, some of whom actually are beyond the "risk" stage and actually are suffering from actual illnesses they incurred.

As Sen. Joe Biden said of Giuliani in the best line of last night's Democratic debate at Drexel U.,
"His message consists of a noun, a verb, and 9/11."

May Rudy Giuliani choke on his message. It will serve him right. Without 9/11, his candidacy would be as ludicrous as it would have been on 9/10.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm Cook-ed. You?

The Red Sox advance to the World Series.
The Rockies advance to the World Series.
Does Dane Cook have to advance to the World Series, too?

We all agree that there is only one October.
Now can we please enjoy it without him?