Monday, March 31, 2008

Richardson = Judas? No, Carville = Crazy Man

You don't get a nickname like the "Ragin' Cajun" by being demure and decorous. But that doesn't excuse politico James Carville from calling a very decent man and the Governor of New Mexico, "Judas."

Okay, Mr. Carville, we get it: you love Bill and Hillary Clinton, you are their most loyal ally in the world, and you will be with them till that last dog dies. We get it. Loyalty is a wonderful thing. Except when it's not. And it doesn't look so wonderful when someone like you equates the withholding of it to consigning someone to death. "Ragin Cajun?" How about the "Delta Drama Queen?"

Yes, N.M. Gov. Bill Richardson owed something indeed to former Pres. Bill Clinton, who had, to a very real degree, "made" Richardson by appointing him both U.S. Ambassador to the U.N., and U.S. Energy Secretary. That's loyalty to BILL Clinton. Get it?

What is Carville's point? That Richardson's loyalty must be to the entire family?
What does he owe Chelsea, for instance?

Hillary? As a presidential candidate himself, Richardson ran against her, for goodness sake.
What, that wasn't disloyal by the Carville Code of Clinton Commrade Conduct? But now he is being disloyal because he favors a different candidate?

Bill Richardson owes Hillary Clinton exactly nothing.
James Carville owes Bill Richardson a big, fat apology.

Monday, March 24, 2008

On Your Knees!

Depending on who and what you read in the wake of Sen. Barack Obama's Philadelphia speech on race, he either hit a home run or barely squibbed a single past a drawn-in infield.

Unless you are noted race relations expert and baseball sage Pat Buchanan.

To Buchanan, Obama not only struck out, he used a corked bat, took steroids, and bet on his own team to boot. On his blog, "PJB" (which sounds oddly like a sandwich of some kind, no?), Buchanan levels quite likely the harshest review seen yet of Obama's speech:

"It is the same old con, the same old shakedown that black hustlers have been running since the Kerner Commission blamed the riots in Harlem, Watts, Newark, Detroit and a hundred other cities on, as Nixon put it, “everybody but the rioters themselves.”

Wow. Barack Obama--Harvard Law grad, U.S. Senator, Presidential candidate, black hustler.
And Lord knows if there is one man in America who has the record of tolerance, wisdom and ethical high standards to be quoted as a voice of reason on race relations, it's Richard Nixon.

Did Buchanan even hear the speech?

"Barack says we need to have a conversation about race in America.
Fair enough. But this time, it has to be a two-way conversation. White America needs to be heard from, not just lectured to."

Interesting, because in the Obama speech I watched and listened to, he very much dwelt on both sides of the racial divide, and spoke about white fears and concerns in a way rarely if ever heard from from a black leader.

But, wait it gets better. For slaves, that is.

"First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known."

See? Slavery was the best thing that ever happened to those "black folks." After all, they got to get rounded up like animals, lose all human dignity, do 200 years or so of forced labor in another land, suffer generations of lost and uprooted families, AND--get Christian salvation. See? It was win-win-win-win-win!

Oh, Buchanan also has advice for the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr., the man whose comments Obama forthrightly condemened.

"Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American," Buchanan says.

See? It's all about knowing your place in this great land of liberty.

And with that, one assumes Massuh Pat stalks back to the Big House in a huff. Damn but those shufflin' darkies get uppity sometimes.

Especially when they run for President.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

That Is "SO" Cheney... it not?
So, in response to an interviewer's observation that fully 2/3 of all Americans now think the Iraq War was a mistake, the so-called Vice-President says, "So?"

So how about that?

Give the man his props--he does not give a shit about you, me, the guy next-door or the Gods who presumably hate hubris. Presumably he does care somewhat for dear and (up to now) loyal old friends like Mickey Edwards.

Edwards, a lecturer at Princeton's Woodrow Wilson School of Politics and former Republican colleague of Cheney's in Congress, wrote a dark and damning "I don't know you anymore" type of op-ed in this weekend's Washington Post. ("Cheney's Error.")

Edwards' upshot? That Cheney would be basically happier in a dictatorship than in the three-branched Democratic government in which he serves. Edwards makes the simple but astute point that in our government, the founders (wisely) put the power to wage war in the hands of the people, through their elected representatives in Congress. So Cheney's snarling "So?" in the face of widespread public opposition to his, I mean Bush's war is in fact no small thing.

It is in fact the grievous error that Edwards describes it as.

So? So nine more months till we get to say "So long."
But that still seems so long.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Now I've Heard Everything

So, Rush Limbaugh accuses someone else of being a "hatemonger." This from a man who broadcasts daily to millions of listeners who tune in mostly to mentally "ditto" his hateful rant of the day. Ever hear Rush go off on the Clintons or any other significant liberal Democrat you care to think of? (My personal "favorite?" Two days after the Virginia Tech massacre, Limbaugh said the shooter "had to be a liberal.") Hate rarely comes in so many different, dripping varieties. Or in such dulcet (if drug-induced) tones.

And someone else is a hatemonger?

Mind you, Limbaugh's target this time, Barack Obama's pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., has certainly spewed some rank and rancid stuff. No question. (And no delay or dancing around it in Obama's stern and swift

And you can be sure that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb hasn't forgotten Limbaugh's 2003 race-neutral observation on ESPN that "the media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well...and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve." (Sounds a lot like coach Gerry Ferraro, no?)

But someone else is a race-baiter?

The kettle in this case (Rev. Wright) is indeed and in fact black.
The porcine, pill-popping pot is still best-described by the title of Al Franken's book: "Rush Limbaugh is a Big, Fat Idiot."

And you can look it up.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Answer: "Sure, And If My Aunt...

...Had a d**k, she'd by my uncle."

The Question? What is the proper response to Geraldine Ferraro's comment, "If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position."

Oh, and if Geraldine Ferraro was your aunt, you would understand why your uncle drank.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

But Like, She IS A Monster

What? Like there is some question about that?

Calling your opponent a "monster" in a U.S. Presidential race, even via a surrogate (Barack Obama's now ex-advisor, Samantha Power) is probably unacceptable.

On the other hand, Hillary Clinton, of late, seems to sprout more heads with more distinct personalities than say, the mythical hydra. Which, most would agree, would be fairly placed at least in the "general monster" category.

There was cooing, congenial Hillary at the Austin, Texas debate, turning warmly to Obama: "I am honored to be here with Barack Obama, honored..." Only days later, there was the snapping, steaming Hillary in Ohio spitting, "You should be ashamed of yourself, Barack Obama!"

Got whiplash yet?

And truthfully, what Clinton said at a meeting of military officers and national security experts in Washington last week was actually monstrous. She said that both she and presumptive Republican nominee John McCain were ready to be Commander-in-Chief; Obama was not. She and McCain, Clinton piously intoned, could "put forth a lifetime of experience." Barack Obama, by contrast she taunted, could "offer a speech he made in 2002."

Nevermind for the moment that that was a speech in which he went on record opposing the Iraq War which Clinton supported. More importantly--and more like a monster--Clinton broke a longstanding, unwritten rule that you do not throw a fellow member of your party under the bus to potentially be run over in the general by the opposing party. Politically, yes, that is monster-like.

Sorry, she is a monster. The only question is, which one?
Cruella Deville?
Catherine the Great?
Loch Ness?

The Boston Herald's Margery Eagan compared her to Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction"--popping up out of that bathtub every time you think she's dead.

Tough to say.
Tougher to watch.
But Barack Obama should be glad that his days of sitting mere inches away from her at Democratic debates are over.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Hope This!

Several scenes from movies come to mind in the wake of Texas and Ohio and the carnival attraction ("She takes knives, she takes a bullet--she will not die!") that is increasingly Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama's message of hope and positive change? Very nice. Nice enough in fact to finish second. Or last, if you prefer. (And don't nice guys always finish last?)

Clinton, as Tina Fey on SNL made clear, could care less about being nice, being positive, or hoping for anything other than total victory regardless of the body count or the blood spilled.

Hillary? Hope?
To paraphrase the famous scene in Treasure of the Sierra Madre, "We don't need no stinkin' hope!"

No, a shiv in the back works ever so much better in politics.
Just ask Clinton.
Whose next attack ad is rumored to end with the words, "I'm Hillary Clinton--and I got your hope right here!"

Saturday, March 1, 2008

It's 3AM...

...My kids are asleep. The phone rings. It's the Clinton campaign.

"Do you realize it's 3 o'clock in the morning?," I say.

"Do you realize that Hillary Clinton is ready to be President on day one?," the perky young caller responds. "And if that red phone rings in the middle of the night at the White House--just like it just rang at your house--she will know exactly what to do, unlike that untested neophyte who you may or may not have been thinking about voting for."

There is a long pause, as I look out the window and realize there is a streetlight out.
"It's 3 o'clock in the freaking morning," I softly repeat.
I hang up the phone.

"Who was that?," my wife asks without opening her eyes.

"Just some wackjob. 'Night..."