"Don't Cry For Me, Condoleeza..."

He cries. He really, really cries. A lot.

"I do tears," Bush told journalist Robert Draper, author of a new book on Bush's presidency, "Dead Certain," which went on sale this week.

Now, "Dead Certain" joins other already-published accounts of Bush's presidency, such as "Fiasco," "State of Denial," and "Hubris."

Oh, wait--those three books were about the Iraq war.

Bush tells Draper that he has "God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot."
Who knows? Perhaps Laura's shoulder is no longer being made available for the torrents.

In fact, if Bush were to do unto himself as he as done unto so many others, and give himself a nickname, perhaps the most apt one would be "Weepy."

"I do a lot of crying in this job," Bush told Draper. "I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president. I'll shed some tomorrow."

I'm getting all ferklempt today.

The nation might have already seen some the president's countless tears if he had bothered to attend a single funeral of those he sent to die in Iraq. That number, by the way, is not countless. It only feels that way. The exact number--as of this writing, as of this moment, that is--is 3,753. (And that's only U.S. military deaths.)

Have you shed 3,753 tears, Mr. President?

Bush also shared with Draper some musings about his former life as an alchoholic.
"I wouldn't be president if I kept drinking. You get sloppy, can't make decisions, it clouds your reason, absolutely."

Sloppy? Clouded reason? Wait, that sounds like sober Bush.

I think I need a drink now. And I don't even drink. Well, hardly. Not sloppy-like, anyway.

Yeah, I do tears, too, Mr. President.
Every time I think about the last eight years.